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Menai Newbould

Fiction Fridays #20 A frog he would a wooing go

Our favourite song. Are all nursery rhymes about death?

And this week's Fiction Friday: The Tale of...

Plus ballet inspiration. 

It's hot and humid here. Two showers a day minimum. In the pool (delightfully cold) whenever the power and A/C goes. Of course if we'd done that yesterday we'd have been leaping in and out of the pool in the dark - we counted 9 power cuts in total.

We long for the cold rain of England. I won't necessarily say that when I'm standing in it (wondering where I left my Hunter wellies) but for now - bring it on! Flights are booked. Bags aren't packed but there are great big heaps of stuff ready to go in - and little H has her last day of school for the year coming up on Monday. I'm about to email a list of food to our lovely family who are hosting our stay - ah, sausages. 

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Paying it forward

I haven't been very grateful or gracious this week. The heat is getting to me and every disaster has seemed disastrous. It's not like we didn't have the odd problem in the UK too - we've written off a couple of cars and been burgled there...but this week has left me wishing to be back in the wettest April on record and I think it's time for a holiday far far away from here....

We don't have a driver. One day we didn't have a car either. Did I mention that it's very hot here in mango season? It turns out that sitting in a car at a petrol station where we broke down (aka one of the worst smells in India - could that be down to the number of people who are decanting diesel into, well, anything that will hold it and possibly some things that don't really...) with no air conditioning, stressed as there's a preschool child to pick up who won't understand why mummy isn't there wasn't my finest moment. There was shouting. And tears. And I helped to push the car. 

Then a "rescue car" turns up, and on enquiry, turns out to have no seatbelts - ok, this is normal here, but isn't exactly the rescue I was hoping for. I found some seatbelts in the boot. And I fixed it in time to collect little H. Phew. My mission to find secreted seatbelts in every car in South Asia, one car at a time.

Our phone was then cut off - and so we lost the internet. Argh. I miss family talks on Skype. And just at the point where I wanted to book the plane tickets! Paying the phone bill was a complete nightmare. Because we had already been cut off (I should say we had paid every bill received!) then we couldn't pay in our usual office. They directed us instead to a far busier office - on walking in I was 27th in what rapidly became a queue of 40 to pay at one counter. No A/C. Lots of attention as the only Westerner in there and one of only 3 women. But I did have time to contemplate the sign at the only only other counter in there - the (completely unused) telegram counter. In case anyone ever wanted to send one of these greetings.

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Did I mention that nearly all our light bulbs don't work? Mysteriously. So there's cooking is in the dark with torches and battery operated lights.  Husb's work are doing their best to help. It's, um, interesting.

And this is all part of the adventure. And I'm still very lucky compared with people who can only dream of such things as drivers, cars, A/C, phones, telegrams, internet, light. I know, I know.  But I'd like to come home please. For a bit. For a rest from the chaos here. For a reminder that I can jolly well drive and direct debits and DIY shops do exist. Looking forward to seeing y'all!

I'd like to pay it forward in future. So I'm hoping to help out a little more with our Overseas Women's Club helping newcomers: *positive face! and reassuring people that we ALL have bad days, weeks etc.

In the future I'd love to do giveaway competitions, as here if you're interested and eligible is a nice one elsewhere (hurrah for my heading back to the UK so I have an address for post there):

http://childledchaos.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/picture-book-giveaway/

- a fellow Fiction Fridays devotee - here's to the positive world of supporting the next generation of readers everywhere - education is the silver bullet, after all.

Fiction Fridays-the fruit salad edition

Today it's Pugwash (and you can see that his heroic assistant's name is NOT Roger the cabin boy).
We are trying to convince little H to try solid fruits+veg. Here's today's attempt, courtesy of Pinterest St Patrick's Day ideas.
The Wiggles tomorrow ("Fruit salad. Yummy, yummy").

No home internet connection today-ah, the joys of India..so posting from my somewhat limited phone-hope this works and looks ok!

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Heigh ho, it's off to work we go

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This meme was started by mother.wife.me and I've been tagged! Sorry for the delay in responding - it's been rather complicated, but here I am!

 Rules: 

  1. Please post the rules
  2. Answer the questions in as much or as little detail as suits you
  3. Leave a comment on mother.wife.me so we can keep track of the meme
  4. Tag 3 people and link to them on your blog
  5. Let them know you tagged them
  6. Tweet loudly about taking part (well ok, that isn’t a rule, but how about if we start a hashtag – #amothersworkmeme )

Did you work before becoming a mum?

Yes. I started work as a student in the holidays, working as a waitress, a student dean at an adult summer school and in a museum library. Had I ever worked in a shop, I might not have joined a retail graduate scheme. Had I shopped in a Woolworths since childhood, I might not have joined the Kingfisher scheme. But I didn't and hadn't so, off I went to join KMDS and had a generally brilliant start to the world of work, picking up a postgrad diploma in Management (which I secretly think has got me all my other jobs) and meeting some good friends there too. Hi, good friends. 

Switched over to WHSmith and had an even better time working in a small part of a big lovely company with some good friends too. Hi, good friends from there. And met husb - hurrah! But off I went to work in the charity sector, and then onwards to local government. I was very lucky to work with some excellent people at Medway, then skipped back to London boroughs for a bit and then off I went again to the garden of England - where I have worked on some fascinating projects for preschool children & have met some good and caring friends too.


What is your current situation?

I'm on a career break, being a full time stay at home parent for the first time since little H was 5 months old. She attends preschool each morning, but as the school is a long way from home I don't have a chance to return home so I find things to do of a morning while I wait to collect her - organising the OWC playgroup, volunteering in the school library, beginners' yoga, learning Tamil, writing, reading, sewing - and it's fair to say, a little shopping, chatting & blogging. Afternoons are for letting little H lead some play or getting out & about visiting friends for playdates or shopping that little H can enjoy tolerate and then a swim before teatime. In the increasing sticky heat we need that daily splash.

I wish I could say that it's made me calmer, but it's not an easy place to live and I think in many ways I miss having a work identity and being able to use my education and training.  I need to think seriously about what skills I want to enhance while I'm here or I'll find that the time has vanished.

Settling in and settling little H in - getting the apartment sorted out and making friends has taken the time that it has, and I haven't found that so easy to do while trying to be the best mum I can be with afternoon activities for little H now that she doesn't nap at home any more. I have high expectations for myself and must must must as a minimum get better at cooking!

I confess that I am enjoying having some headspace time - some days I just can't believe that she has grown up so fast and I'm always looking for ways to enhance her play and stretch her in areas that she's interested in learning about - husb does a great job of painting and playing music with her and I need to spend less time looking at ideas on Pinterest and more time actually creating a few in real life!

Whatever happens, our situation will be different when we go back to the UK and while it's hard to imagine, I know that some preparation for that in due course will be warranted. 

Freestylin’ on Childcare Costs and Expectations

Costs:

We could not have been more fortunate. Other than 2 nights of babysitting in her life, little H has been looked after my her loving and wonderful grandparents while I was working. It's an area I was familiar with in my role overseeing the Children's Information Service (as was) in local government, and I am aware that it's a very close call for so many families about whether it's "worth" some parents working, given how much the costs of childcare can be and whether the parent's job is, well, I guess, fulfilling. I firmly believe that for most parents, and I'm mainly talking about mothers, the help is partly to give them a future prospect better than someone would have who spent years and years in the home without gaining work experiences - though given the difficulties we have on occasion faced here, I think I'm using a fair number of project management skills every day...

I know very few families in the UK where the mother does no kind of paid work (as if stay at home mothers don't do work - as many dads who try to entertain the children for an hour or so soon discover - oh, and the loo roll doesn't get replenished by magic, you know) - even the small number of stay at home mothers have side projects and I have enormous respect for them in doing so. 

Expectations:

So here's the rub. I have very high expectations. I don't want little H ever to stand crying without being comforted (though tantrums are another matter). I want the teachers to notice what she's interested in and keep developing opportunities for her to progress. I want teachers rather than carers for her.

I know that her language has developed particularly well because of the amazing one on one attention (and on plenty of occasions, two grandparents on one grandchild!) and I'm grateful for that. All the grandparents are very keen on books and seem to have unending patience in play - she really has been so fortunate and we continue to be grateful (hurrah for upcoming holidays!)

I need to study even more about it than I have been fortunate enough to learn about in my own work areas, particularly because I don't always agree with the way things are done here at her preschool - so this week's parent-teacher conference should be interesting but perhaps at some point I really will put my money where my mouth is and get some training /practical experience of my very own...

You're tagged! 

I am tagging:

Shrada

CupcakeMumma

Sarah A

Here's the original

Oh, and this week little H's class have been "enacting" Snow White. Little H says she was the line leader for the dwarves. I think that means Doc. So at an early age she's the chatty, bossy, intellectual one. Hmmn! From little H's recollection - and we do sometimes have to take this with a pinch of salt as her imagination runs riot, the oldest girl (and her best friend) was the delightfully scary evil queen, the most tomboy-ish girl was the handsome prince and the most delicate & quietest Scandinavian girl played Snow White. I wonder if the little one who often falls asleep by lunchtime pickup was cast accordingly too! I'd love to have seen this performed!

Fiction Fridays #18 sleeping it off

In the Great Forest a little elephant was born.

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Thank you again to H for providing beautiful Babar for our constant enjoyment. Little H takes great delight in the parts where Babar buys his clothes (a collar and tie and spats being among the purchases - she is a girl after my own 1930s-obsessed heart).

She also finds it fascinating that Babar gives his bowler hat to another elephant. We then have a few minutes of discussion about this, as Babar is going to wear a crown from now on. What with this and Mr Banks in Mary Poppins I think we'll be looking for a little bowler hat to bring back from England for the dressing-up box. I hope we won't start some Cabaret-type performances, but hey, it could be worse. 

We skip over the part about what happens to Babar's mummy and the old king of the elephants towards the end of the story (he eats mushrooms - we have enough problems with refusing to eat things right now). The Disney movies we have been watching have been building up to a bit of an interest in, well, death.

"Why does the voodoo man 'go away forever'?" [said with some concern]

"Why did the firefly have to go away? Why did the man stand on him?" [sobbed].

Simba's dad is having a long sleep. Maybe now she's frightened of sleeping? Oh dear. We are now employing liberally the fast-forward button. I feel like Phoebe's mother in Friends. Maybe we should have got a goldfish after all.

I'm hoping to get involved in local support for the Born Free Foundation where you can donate to "adopt" and also report incidents of cruelty that you see at "attractions" - very wonderful work indeed and considerably more positive than our current head-turning approach.

Our week tsunami-free was rather exhausting and the heat (plus the "scheduled" 2 hour power cut of an afternoon) is making me want to sleep a lot - here's to a calmer week next week.

A monkey came to visit - in our car park! We haven't seen one in the "wild" of the city before...

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Craft club started the Christmas production line for the OWC charity bazaar this week and we have some ideas too. Involving mistletoe and hearts. 

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Thank you as always to K and K who entertain little H wonderfully so I can get a few stitches in my ongoing projects.

We really enjoy spending some weekend time at birthday parties (almost all little H's classmates have birthdays this month - she is a LOT younger than most of them) and here's a few shots from the latest. 

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Yesterday we enjoyed a family trip to a cooking class - I feel so much more confident about making a chicken "kebab" dish and mint "chutney" (aka 2 things with yoghurt in) now - husb won't know what's hit him at supper time tonight...

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Blogging from the edge

This week I wished I had paid more attention in Geography lessons. It's fair to say that the coverage on TV and the internet (well, what we could access of the internet with limited electrical power) about the likelihood of a tsunami wasn't all it could have been. Thankfully damage seems to be very minimal. I confess to feeling a bit like my heroine Chloe from 24, updating what information I had on text messages and facebook.

Almost every mother at the school the next day had a newspaper in hand - I've never seen this before. Our reading of choice is The Hindu  

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So what was it all about?

On Wednesday I collected little H from school at our usual 12.15 slot, we headed home via a very nice deli and sat down for a late lunch together at home.

I wondered if I was feeling a bit wobbly as it's awfully hot here and I happened to be perched on one of little H's small Ikea chairs. She seemed fine. Then the bookcases started rattling with books shifting and the entire wooden prights moving back and forward. We don't have any lights hanging down from the ceiling, so it wasn't entirely evident that we were experiencing our first earthquake in Chennai.

Then my husband called, saying that his office had been evacuated out to the carpark and insisting that we get out of the 11 storey apartment block. I stayed on the line, somewhat in denial and popped out onto the balcony but couldn't see anyone outside. Then our doorbell rang and one of the building's cleaning ladies encouraged us to come out. I grabbed my handbag and bottle of water, flung on my shoes, pushed little H into her slip on shoes, seized a sunhat for her and a floaty multipurpose-in-case-of-emergencies-scarf for me from by the door and out we went. I have a pretty good daily supply in my handbag satchel anyway - money, cards, first aid kit, phone, change of clothes for little H, wipes, rubbish bags, so I didn't think about anything else and out we headed. Unusually for us, down the stairs. 

As we got downstairs we joined the groups of (mainly) ladies milling about in the car park. One of our new expat neighbours was there with her lovely little dog and she, thankfully, got even more attention than little H does (note to self - we should hang out with her MUCH more).

Husb rang again and said that he'd heard that the earthquake had taken place off the coast of Indonesia near Sumatra (as in 2004) and that it was 8.9 on the Richter scale. Most importantly, there was a tsunami warning out for a possible tsunami for the whole region with estimated arrival time for 2 hours later in Chennai. This part of the world was affected in 2004 - but not our area of the city. We live about 5km from the coast and we were reassured by English-speaking neighbours that the water did not get this far...I doubted that it had, but it was difficult to persuade our new neighbour that she didn't need to pop back to her apartment to collect her family's passports and instead to stay outside avoiding any further earthquake danger. This girl had arrived from Italy only a month ago, had limited English (my Italian is entirely confined to Latin and menus) and was really frightened about the prospect of a tsunami.  

I started sending group text messages to everyone I had a number for - most of whom lived down the East Coast Road (many in large houses directly facing the beach), letting them know about the warning and inviting them to our place if they wanted to come. I didn't get many messages back (and didn't really know if the messages had got through, as the networks were presumably overloaded) but the odd message started coming back, assuring me that people were heading for hotels as husbands' factories and offices were being evacuated. 

So we hung around, met another expat neighbour, her baby son & her visiting friend- and again tried to reassure that we didn't need to collect our passports (I really will start to keep these in a tin box nearer the door...) and then we eventually started following people back into the building. Decided that 4th floor is the optimum level for an apartment - not too far to walk up the stairs (I was fearing an aftershock, knocking out the lift) and not too low that rising waters would reach us...

And I compromised over little H's strong desire to dance and play and my preference to sit anxiously by a television/computer by just this once combining use of our portable DVD player (nothing calms us down like The Wiggles) and the TV.

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Emails started appearing on my phone from little H's school, explaining arrangements for those whose children hadn't yet been collected. I felt very fortunate to have already collected little H and arrived safely back. Of course for some who lived nearer to the coast the school (further inland) was a safer option. Many reported the next day that it was the Japanese families, of course, who were feeling the upset most - that it was clear from the looks in their eyes what they remembered about last year's disaster in Japan and their fears again for their families.

No sign of a tsunami, thank goodness. Experts started to state that it was the "wrong kind of quake" for a tsunami - the tectonic plates had moved off the coast horizontally rather than vertically, so water wouldn't be forced up in the same way. Phew x 1 zillion. 

2 hours later we had another "wobble" as little H was calling it. Nearly as strong as the first. But the first was downgraded to 8.6. We zoomed to the balcony again. No one seemed to be outside. We jumped under the table and hung out there for a bit, fielding calls and texts again. The TV acknowledged that this aftershock was nearly as strong as the first quake. 8.2. Our neighbours rang and encouraged us to come downstairs again - we felt rather comfortable under the table with our books and toys, so stayed put this time. It was lovely to be able to talk to my parents on Skype to get reassurance and a bit of contact until husb could come home that evening.

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The BBC world news channel covered the situation for a while, but we were then persuaded by other expats on Facebook to switch to the local CNN channel where we had much more comprehensive coverage. With some degree of speculation. About jets being scrambled to drop supplies. Etc. I think that the picture of the wet beach in the Andaman islands really was just a picture of a wet beach, and not a beach where the waters had drawn back as the tsunami gathered...and one reporter was standing on Marina Beach wearing a (small) lifejacket interviewing young people about how they had "come to see the tsunami". There is a reason why they didn't "see" the previous one. 

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We didn't have any house guests (though I ensured that we had a few more towels and sheets in place the next day in case of any future mass visits). I've subscribed to email updates about the Indian ocean area in case of future events. I've reflected on how fortunate it was that a) the event hadn't taken place the week before, when we were at a playgroup birthday party hosted by a mum who lives by the beach. About 30 families of panicking mothers and small children would have been rather more of a challenge to co-ordinate & b) that we usually had a playgroup meet up on a Wednesday, but this week had postponed to a Thursday as that suited our host - again, a huge relief as we each only had our own family to support.

Would you like some more cheerful pictures? I thought so....here we are celebrating Easter. Another Pinterest challenge - eggs "curtains" decorated by little H.

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Fiction Fridays #17 - sun and excitement to follow

The sun did not shine. 

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Not a sentiment with which we can really concur here in the tropics. It's getting hotter here with temperatures heading for 40 degrees and sticky humidity. We look forward to a trip back to the UK for some respite. I'm reading about the travels of the English in this part of the world in the 1700s and the very thought of corsets and layers of flannel...

Little H has always loved this book. Husb reads this in the style of Pete & Dud. I think most of their sketches are far too rude for a link, but here's a song. But if you don't mind lots of swearing...have a look on youtube. Ahem.

A great introduction to the wacky world of Dr Seuss of course - and we're planning to do another "Pinterest" challenge by (secretly) getting all her teachers to sign a copy of "Oh, the places you'll go!" and presenting this to her at graduation. 

More to come this weekend on the excitement of our week - our first earthquake(s) and the tsunami warnings - aka (according to little H) "the wobbles"...

Fiction Fridays #16 - telling it like it is

There's something about fairy tales that grabs us. Timeless stories, despite generally medieval settings, about great characters who have strangely symmetrical adventures in threes or sevens and good & evil are all clearly defined.

GAH provided a stunning castle this week (for the princes and princesses that already joined us at Christmas) - we are very fortunate indeed. Here's little H in her Welsh hat provided by kind GAF too.

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But little H is very very keen to know why about so many things right now that we are having to shape the truth politely.

"Why was the witch naughty? Why did she take the baby princess? Why did she have to die?"*

And happily ever after isn't a given. Thank you to all who have heard me out on the subject for the past few days - it's been tricky dealing with her level of interest and staying truthful not brutal. Advice to new parents that they really don't mention in antenatal classes as below:

Small child + teaching of the word "why" = many hours of activity, not necessarily entertainment

Lucy Cousins (creator of Maisy) has a book containing a few classic fairy tales called "Yummy" This helps - there are no punches pulled. Warning - pictures ahead of very scary wolf. Not because he's being scary, but because he gets decapitated. After being scary. Presumably. I'll find my way from behind the sofa to check, shall I?

Actually I think that the pictures upload onto Facebook without permitting me to edit, so I'll add some of our recent travels in India first, for the jolly sensible faint-hearted among us.

Thank you to marvellous visitor Tom for these lovely pictures of our family, especially little H. I've also put one of his lovely cinemascope general shots to tempt you too -many more here, so potential visitors, do take a look and book your dates - we'd love to see you too!

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Back to the book - are you sitting comfortably?

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Argh!

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*I know that this is supposed to be about books. I do really really like the 50th Disney film Tangled - there's a lot to be said for a feisty, fighting princess armed with a frying-pan. The Ladybird version is even scarier than the wolf above - the prince falls from the tower! And the hard working Princess & the Frog. Looking forward to Brave. We are also big fans of Snow White - though I hope little H will have the courage to take her first bite of an apple one day soon - mango season is already upon us...seriously, visitors - be tempted!

Fiction Fridays #15 and a few confessions

Oops, missed a week.

You don't want to know*

Here we are with the latest addiction. Yes, I'm still a Pinterest junkie but little H has a new love. The nearly-always rhyming adventures of Madeline.

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This is the current favourite. I think little H is fascinated with what could make one a bad hat. It's the naughty son of the Spanish Ambassador. Here hats are good. They keep off the sun. They (slightly) reduce the attention we get with our blondeness. 

I must confess that yesterday I lost my temper after a lot of unwanted attention, with little H being grabbed by far too many people. The next poor lady who tried to pinch her cheek (and it does hurt - little H has had a bruise from this...) got the full force of my yelling and a torrent of snooty "What on earth do you think you are doing? That's VERY rude. We DO NOT touch other people's children." etc. And a crowd gathered. And I slunk away. Bad day. It got better. And then worse. 

Better when a nice teenage girl offered little H a balloon on a stick (from McD). After my outburst, I foolishly suggested to little H that if anyone's arm came near her again to pinch her she could bop them with her balloon. Brilliantly, she did. To a chap. A chap! It's usually the ladies who muscle in.

And then the balloon burst (as they do in the heat). Really loudly. As if she'd shot him. Again, crowd gathered, I slunk off, reminding little H that we only do that with balloons, ahem, and that I was very proud of her (if not myself).

Perhaps a water pistol next time?

More pictures to follow from the fabulous road trip with great friend Tom visiting (won't be a patch on his shots, for sure) - anyway we're all back safe & well if not best pleased with the performance of the cricket team....Husb is awaiting his callup after an excellent performance with both bat and ball against the hotel staff in Tranquebar.

*Ok, so you do want to know why we were MIA? First major tummy bug we've had since moving here. I wasn't super-well but was bearing up. Then darling little H started with it the day before we headed south for a road trip down the coast. Lovely. Nice few days beside the seaside. Then I developed it again next, ready for our journey back. Nightmare. So no time in front of the computer for me. But we enjoyed other people's choices!

Here's where to go for more...

Fiction Fridays #14

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and as modelled by my lovely assistant...

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Thank you to HT for this week's entry

Tiddler the storytelling fish - another fabulous Julia Donaldson/Axel Scheffler partnership. So many favourite elements here:

- rhyming across a page turn 

- the usual reference to other books - there's a "Gruffalo" fish

- tiny visual jokes - the fish at school are learning about boats in the lesson which Tiddler misses - due to being captured in a fishing net

The story has some similiarities with Finding Nemo (we hadn't seen this until recently - little H wept nearly as much as she did at The Lion King. "But where's his daddy?" "He's lost!" "He doesn't have a mummy!") but is so much funnier,(the seagulls in Nemo aside) with such a satisfying ending. Highly recommended. 

I utterly failed to take photographs at the cotton market - but I promise to return soon...

We scored some lovely materials for personal use - ahem, as if I needed them!and eastereggs will feature at today's OWC party. Yes, I know - Happy St Patrick's Day (and Happy Birthday to Harrie's granddad)!

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and here's some for sis to get her new sewing machine going on too!

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Off to egg painting we go!